None of us are exceptional in this fake meritocracy
We’ve been practicing active rest by staying in the discomfort for a few more breath cycles instead of rushing to fix or produce. In the Grove, we’ve called this fallow grounding. Because we’re up against one of the most enduring institutional myths in this country: the illusion of constant growth.
This myth keeps you thinking linearly and striving upwards. It lives in the story that there are steps you can take to control the outcome. Just follow the rules and keep propping up the systems (capitalism, white supremacy, patriarchy, etc.), then you too will succeed (in life, house, money, career).
Look around, and you’ll see where it’s gotten us. We are in our current polycrisis BECAUSE we’ve bought into the illusion of constant growth on every level: educational, workplace, economic, social, cultural, agricultural, on and on. Capitalism is not just an economic system.
Then, at an individual level, it shows up cognitively as: If I just try harder, do more, add something. Somatically, it’s tightness, shallow breathing, inability to rest. And behaviorally, it’s skipped lunches and workouts, packed calendars, and just one more thing at 10pm. So much treadmill churning going way too fast programmed by someone else.
The system was never designed for us to catch up, to be rested and ready.
Sociologist Robert K. Merton called this The Matthew Effect (in 1968). Those who start out with more accumulate more. Simultaneously, those who start out with less fall further and further behind. Yet we’re told our belonging is a matter of merit (hello, subjective merit raises).
So you over. You sacrifice your body, your relationships, your creativity, and your connection. I certainly did.
And we have ambition, we’re high achievers. I wanted to do my 20s and 30s that way. I had what I thought were big dreams. I sacrificed everything on the altar of academic productivity. And I was successful. I left at the height of the academic career ladder - tenured, full, and department chair. My body was the first to say no more. Then, in that scared healing pause, I saw I was far out of alignment with what mattered to me and the impact I wanted to have in my work.
Most of us churn on towards retirement, waiting to have ‘earned’ freedom and liberation from the systems. Mythical rewards that come from ‘hard work’ where you give all your good, healthy, midlife years to systems that benefit from your massive overing. And it can all go poof overnight, like the state of Oklahoma’s tenure removal in exchange for what the governor is calling ‘performance-based faculty employment.’
There’s no shame in your churning. We all buy in, want it, and are complicit as a result of believing in it. There’s also no pure opting out. It's like an invasive weed that chokes out all other options–until you start pruning it back, letting light get down to your innate creative seeds.
The system, those invasive weeds, they won’t spare you. None of us are exceptional in this fake meritocracy. But what you are is stardust, you’re a cosmic wonder! You’re a field of native seeds waiting to flower after a soft, warm soaking rain! If you let it…
A few gentle experiments for this week:
Notice (cognitive):
Where do I believe “more effort will fix this”?
What am I trying to control that isn’t actually controllable?
Feel (somatic):
What happens in my body when I slow down for 3 breaths?
Where am I bracing or gripping during the workday?
Shift (behavioral):
Leave one white space on your calendar
Take lunch away from your screen and desk
Stop one task at 85% instead of 110%
End the day before you feel depleted, not after
This gentle nudge work is how we unlearn the myth that we are our productivity. It’s time to take it all back. Take it all back, every last ounce of your precious energy, creativity, power! Let’s do this together. Set up a consultation call to talk about 1:1 Mentorship Coaching.