The Stories Our Brain Tells Us
As you know, I work 1:1 with folks, in organizations as a trainer and consultant, and in my community with climate work. All to say, I see a lot of different types of groups. Yet over and over, I witness individuals and groups craving meaningful connection but lacking the foundational skill set to actually be in community together. It breaks my heart to see people want something yet sabotage it at the same time.
On top of that, I believe without a doubt that the work we need to be doing as humans in this chaotic world is learning how to be held in community. And how to hold others in community, while also learning how to invest in relationships that truly support growth.
I hope one of the takeaways from my posts these past weeks has been that group emotions can be contagious, and they don’t have to be.
In any group or interaction, emotions ripple through the space, often faster than anyone can put them into words, because you feel them first in your body. That contagion then spreads by triggering old story patterns, those narratives your mind has been carrying for years about how work, people, and relationships “should” be.
Our brains are wired to simplify the overwhelming world around us. In The Science of Storytelling, Will Storr explains:
“To help us feel in control, brains radically simplify the world with narrative. Estimates vary, but it's believed the brain processes around 11 million bits of information at any given moment, but makes us consciously aware of no more than forty. The brain sorts through an abundance of information and decides what salient information to include in its stream of consciousness.”
The stories you tell yourself about colleagues, your workload, your responsibilities shape not only how you respond in group dynamics but also how you see your career, your role, and your professional identity. The patterns that feel automatic, reactive, or draining often echo the internalized assumptions of who you “should” be in your work.
By noticing these stories and the physical sensations they trigger, you take a critical step in separating your energy and identity from the narratives embedded in your work and team. This is the same foundation you need before you can explore career alignment or consider a pivot: awareness of your own patterns, responses, and values.
Experiential Practice: Story Telling
Notice
Ask: “What story am I telling myself about what’s happening or the people involved?”
Write or mentally note it down. Observing your story is the first step to interrupting it. Watch for some of the stories and cues above.
Assess Reality vs. Narrative
Ask: “Is this story fully true? What’s evidence, and what’s interpretation based on past experiences?
Then ask again, “Can I know for certain this story is absolutely true? What other stories might be as true or more true?”
Remind yourself: the story is your brain’s version of a scaled-down, limited perspective of reality, not necessarily fact. This week, practice your new muscle of awareness in meetings or interactions that layer your body’s response, emotional reaction, and now cognitive stories.