Boundaries: The Internal Pivot
That chronic burnout lifestyle of the old me? That was a lack of internal boundaries. My exhaustion, resentment, anger, poor health habits, injuries…all from zero internal boundaries.
A lot of folks I talk to who feel stuck at the edge of the big career question–Should I stay, go, or make a shift? What if I told you that you can feel different inside the work you have rather than leaving.
Maybe you, too, want to feel less resentful and more rooted. Less chaotic and more clear. To relate to your career in a way that actually honors your energy, values, and priorities instead of constantly sacrificing them.
That’s where boundaries come in. Because let me tell you, I did not know what it meant to hold a boundary for myself throughout most of my academic and administrative career. And that caused me a lot of pain and suffering that could’ve been avoided.
Boundaries aren’t just a list of things you say “no” to (although “No.” is a complete sentence). They’re a living, breathing resilience skill set. They’re how you decide what’s yours to carry and what isn’t. They’re how you protect your time and energy so you can do meaningful work without the long list of overing: over-functioning, over-giving, over-performing, over-committing, and burning out.
Boundaries are the internal pivot that makes staying possible and sometimes even satisfying again. And while they don’t accomplish those parts for you, I guarantee they will make it clear if you can or can’t stay. Internal boundaries allow you to transform your relationship to your work before you ever need to change your role.
Boundaries are not just a defensive tool but an active skill set for building a more intentional, value-aligned relationship with your work, especially when you can’t (or don’t want to) leave.
What Are Internal Boundaries?
When most people hear “boundaries,” they think of external interactions with other people:
Telling a coworker they can’t interrupt you at all hours.
Saying no to another project.
Declining a meeting request.
That’s part of it, but internal boundaries go deeper.
Internal boundaries are the invisible lines you draw within yourself that protect you from your own over-functioning, perfectionism, and people-pleasing patterns. They’re the commitments you make to manage your thoughts, choices, and energy even when no one else is telling you what to do.
Examples of Internal Boundaries:
Not answering work emails at 10pm — not because your boss told you not to, but because you decide you don’t want to live that way.
Choosing not to spiral into self-criticism after small mistakes.
Pausing before you jump in to fix something that isn’t yours to fix.
Refusing to hold other people’s emotions as your responsibility.
I don’t know about you, but those boundaries just feel good. They each give me a loud feeling of YES!
Why They Matter
Internal boundaries are the root of an intentional, value-aligned relationship with work. They help you hold your own enoughness. They keep you grounded in what’s yours to carry and what isn’t. They’re how you stop leaking time and energy into expectations that drain you.
When you can’t (or don’t want to) change your job, internal boundaries are the pivot point. They make staying possible and even fulfilling because you’re not abandoning yourself inside the role.